No Replacement
by Mega-Erofan
Summary: Life is never easy from the Dragonborn, not only in battle, but in romance as well. After the incident with the Eye of Magnus, Xahley is plagued by sorrowful memories, but moving on isn't easy if you're replacing the very one you once loved. Dragonborn(Xahley)xSavos (KhajitXDunmer)


Xahley sighs as she puts away her armor, climbing into the empty bed of the Arch-Mage-so strange yet so familiar to her. Nuzzling against one of the pillows, the Khajit could only recall the times she'd been in this bed before-though not completely alone. The previous Arch-Mage of the College-Savos Aren, had been a close friend of hers since she joined the College over a year ago. Only he ever knew her reasons for entering the College, despite how skilled an assassin and thief she was-he only knew these secret talents of hers because he discovered she had pick-pocketed one of his scrolls one night and caught her on her way out, along with several potions and recipes. He didn't blame her for some of her faults-her kleptomania, her somewhat vulgar humor, or the fact she worshipped a dead corpse in the shadows; he still considered her a valuable student who was always willing to learn, even if her faults clouded her mind sometimes.

The two had only meet when she returned from Saarthal to report something, which soon lead to a full out conversation between the two. After that, the two did become quite close as friends, to a point where he'd treat her much differently from anyone else, helping her improve her combination techniques, as well as working on her other spells. Things only ever got more serious during one night, about 3 months after the two had met, when Xahley entered the room with less energy than usual. Savos could understand with the fact of her multiple allegiances and her adventurous warrior spirit, he had even noticed the frostbitten wounds of a recent Ice Troll encounter on the Khajit's back and arms as she stripped off her armor to change into her robes, yet she seemed less enthusiastic than usual. Even after fighting several dragons in a night, she'd arrive to their weekly training sessions overjoyed for the next spell or level she'd learn, but this time was different.

"Is everything well, Xahley?" Savos asks, "You seem less chirper than usual,"

"Just been rough the past few days," Xahley explains, shielding a cough with her sleeve before continuing. "But I'll be fine,"

Savos sighs, approaching the worn Khajit. "Are you sure you haven't come down with something in your travels?"

"I'm sure," Xahley assures the Arch-Mage, "I haven't been near a Skeever or a bear-just a dragon, 2 Ice Trolls, and some bandits, nothing that can make me deathly ill." Another cough puts a sour expression on the dark elf's face, "I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me,"

"I do if this is going to interfere with your training," Savos scolds, gently forcing Xahley to sit on a chair nearby. "Since I know how you are during your ventures, have you been getting your proper nights of rest?"

"Once or twice," Xahley explains, "And I have been eating well, so don't try that approach either." A hand on her forehead causes the feline to redden,

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, you're warmer than usual," Savos sighs, "Good news-you're not infected with Bone Break Fever or anything more serious, Bad news-you _are_ coming down with a cold. You've spent too much time in the mountains and snow,"

"So what? I've fought with worse going on in my body," Xahley sighs with a sniffle, "No cold's gonna hold me back,"

"Well, I don't want my best student struck down in battle because she sneezed," Savos argues, walking over to his assortment of potions near his alchemy table. "You'll be staying here by my orders until you recover-now I know there's a potion for this,"

"I'll be fine," Xahley groans as she stands, coughing again. "It'll blow over,"

"Not if you go out in the snow again, especially with the blizzard picking up just south of us." Savos sighs, picking out a few health potions from his shelves. "Don't test me, Xahley, I'll use my Paralyze scroll on you if I need to."

"You'd have to pull it out quick enou-" Xahley crumbles to her knees in a fit of coughs, Savos sets the potions aside and rushes to the Khajit, helping her to her feet.

"You can be so stubborn sometimes," Savos murmurs, guiding the sickly Khajit to his bed. "Just lie down, you need your rest."

Being too tired to complain, Xahley complies, nuzzling into the pillow sleepily. Savos sighs and goes to retrieve the health potions, silently chuckling to himself.

/You can be stubborn...but it's an adorable quality,/

The next week was spent in the Arch-Mage's Quarters, not that Xahley minded it, she had more-than-friendly feelings for the Dunmer since he first began training her. She didn't know why-though it was common given her family history.

One of her ancestors fell in love with a Dunmer Mage, who became the Arch-Mage of the Mages Guild in Cyrodill during their ventures-Arch-Mage Legoi was his title, and he was an ancestor of her's as well. So she technically had a thin bloodline connection with the Dunmer. Though most of her family did court with other Khajits, her ancestor-Yehlax, famous for her defeat of the Daedra who attempted to take over Cyrodill just south of Skyrim, stepped from that line and courted with a Dunmer. Now she was stepping up in that spot of being a hero by taking her role as Dragonborn and protecting Skyrim as Yehlax did Cyrodill at her age, though she didn't expect to follow along in falling in love with a Dunmer as well.

But with that fact aside, she still loved him and that's all that mattered to her-but if only she could admit it to him, if only it were so easy for everyone who had ever been in love. She kept quiet about it for so long, but now that she was being cared for by him, that she's rested in his bed, that she's been around him longer than anyone else in the College has-how much longer could she restrain herself?

That was answered the night her recovery was in full swing, the last night of her illness dominating her.

"Well, your fever has gone down quite a bit," Savos says, lifting his hand from the Khajit's head.

"And my chest isn't really in pain anymore," Xahley adds, "Does this mean I'm good in health?"

"Maybe, but I think one more night would ensure that you've recovered," Savos sighs as he stands,

"Are you sure?" Xahley asks, "I feel I've been invading your space a lot this whole week, I don't wanna impede anymore if you aren't okay with it."

"It's fine," Savos chuckles, "Plus, I wouldn't do this for any other student-only my best student gets this treatment, I don't wish for you to be slaughtered out there from an illness."

"As you've said a million times this past week," Xahley points out as she stands, "Why is that?"

"You're a student of mine, a talented one at that," Savos points out, walking over to his small garden of ingredients nearby. "I'd rather not let talent be wasted with such a thing as death,"

"But there's more to it, isn't there?" Xahley sheers, leaning against the wall partially surrounding the garden.

"Of course not, you're my student and I'm merely your mentor, I care for your well being as if you were my own child." Savos sighs, kneeling down and picking a few nightshade flowers from the garden. "Why would you even ponder such a thought?"

"No reason," Xahley sighs, shuffling behind Savos as he stands.

"You sound dishearted," Savos says, "Is something wrong?"

"No," Xahley murmurs, "It's fine," She sits at the small table, trying her best to hide her somewhat fractured heart.

"No, it's not," Savos sighs, walking over as he conceals the nightshades into his robe pocket and sits at the table, opposite of Xahley. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Xahley mutters, forcing herself not to look up at the Dunmer, feeling she'd be found out if she dared meet gazes with the Arch-Mage.

"Look me in the eyes, Xahley," The Khajit timidly glances up at the Arch-Mage, icy blue meeting blood reds. "You can trust me with whatever it is that's bothering you, you know that." Xahley shakes her head, quickly standing a walking to the middle of the room-how could he help if he was part of the problem? "Please Xahley," She feels a firm hand on her shoulder, "Just let me help you,"

Xahley turns to the Arch-Mage, her thoughts racing on what to do, what to say-how could she tell him what's wrong without admitting her feelings? Without looking like an utter fool if he rejected her? She shut her eyes and let her impulse take over, only to end up snapping her eyes open again when her impulse leads to the last thing she thought of doing. She finds herself looking into the shocked eyes of the Arch-Mage, she pulls away, finding out their lips had connected-she'd unconsciously kissed him. Embarassed and ashamed, she takes off for the stairs, retreating to the roof of the College through the one unlocked door. She runs to the edge of the roof, stopping and supporting herself on the ledge that barely stood at her waist, shifting the layer of snow that had built up on the stone and send small bits over the edge to the open courtyard below. She'd just made a complete fool of herself, she cursed her feelings and compulsions-none of this should have happened, she should've controlled herself. Teary eyes crack open, looking down at the College courtyard as students young and old shuffled through the snow, her eyes on the pool at the foot of the large statue set in the middle of the courtyard-a drop she knew she could never survive. She climbs onto the ledge,

"Forgive me Savos,"

She goes numb as she moves to step off of the ledge but is then roughly pulled back from the deathly fall and tumbles into a tight embrace, all sense came back to her at that point-what had happened just now? What stopped her from her fateful descent?

"Don't you go doing that to me," Xahley's breath stills from the voice, she slowly glances over her shoulder, finding it was Savos. "I worked hard to help you live, I won't watch you take your own life now." It broke the Khajit's heart to see him in near tears-all because of her? She turns and nuzzles against the Dunmer, tears of her own spilling as her body shook in murmured sobs. "There, there, it's alright," The voice soothed her like a lullaby, a calming spell only for her-she longed for it even more. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

She was caught off guard by the question, but knew the obvious answer. "I thought you wouldn't return my affections, considering our ranks, our ages...and my own bloodline." Being Dragonborn didn't make romance possible for the lonely Khajit, that was to expected upon her learning about it-but that didn't mean she would accept it so easily.

"I understand," Savos sighs, "I only wish I'd known sooner myself,"

Xahley glances up at the elder Dunmer, recieving a peck between the eyes by surprise. "You mean, you did feel the same?" She asks,

"Indeed, I have," The Dunmer admits, "It didn't help when you became a student of my own, even less when I was helping you in your illness-but I wasn't about to pass any chance of being with you longer then we'd be normally allowed." She nuzzles into his neck as he continues, "I may have known a Mer or two in my youth, but only you have truly captured my heart, not only as a student, but as a woman."

"I'm no woman," Xahley sadly chuckles, "I fight more like a man, i joke like a man, I even dress like man-I've never been a woman in my life, not once."

"But you are in my eyes," Savos argues, "You always have been,"

"Doesn't mean we can be together," Xahley sighs sadly,

"Of course we could," Savos reassures, "It would just have to stay between us-until the world's ready to hear about it,"

"That would be never," Xahley murmurs,

"Nonsense, there will be a day," Savos states, "And when that day comes, neither of us will ever forget it." Xahley gave the Dunmer a curious look, "Trust me, it'll be a gift you'll never forget."

Thus started a relationship even she didn't believe worked out as long as it did, it had almost been 8 months into their relationship when Xahley had returned to the College with the important information on the find in Saarthal-the Eye of Magnus, and that an object called the Staff of Magnus was the only thing that could be used to control its power. But when she enters the Hall of Elements, she surprised to find Savos and Mirabelle outside the room the Eye of Magnus was being held it-with a barrier keeping them from the room.

"What's going on here?" Xahley asks as she approaches,

"Ancano, he's doing...something, I don't know what." Savos explains, "We're trying to get in now-I will have his head for this, I assure you."

"Can I do anything to help?" Xahley asks,

"Help us take down this barrier, we're throwing everything we can at it." The Dunmer explains,

"Then shall I mix a bit of fire into this?" She asks, her hands now glowing red orange.

The three mages band together and take down the barrier then proceed into the room, finding Ancano tampering with the Eye of Magnus.

"Ancano, stop this at once! I command you!" Savos barks at the Thalmor elf, but the other refuses to cease. Xahley goes to attack but is restrained by Savos, she merely huffs and stands by. The two exchange a look just before a white light consumes the room,

"Savos!" Xahley cries, blinded by the light before losing consciouness. She comes to again, Mirabella beside her, leaning on a pillar.

"Are you alright? Can you walk?" Mirabella asks as the Khajit sits up, "I need you on your feet, we're in trouble here."

"I think I'm okay," Xahley groans as she stands, every joint in her body felt sore, as if she'd fallen off a mountain into frigid waters-which she had done once or twice before.

"Ancano is doing something with that thing, the Eye. We can't stop him," Mirabella explains, "I haven't seen Savos since the explosion. He must've been blown clear, and he may be injured. I need you to find the Arch-Mage, and do it quick-"

Xahley was already gone before she could finish; the Khajit takes off outside, hoping and praying to the gods that Savos had been thrown out of the hall safely. But when she steps outside, she finds a group of students gathered around something near the statue-her heart seemed to stop for a moment before she approaches, but she's stopped by Tolfdir before she can attempt to breach the crowd.

"Are you all right? What happened in there?" The elder asks,

"Arcano's done something to the Eye," Xahley explains, trying to look through the crowd to see what everyone was surrounding.

"By the Nine," Tolfdir gasps, "Is he responsible for this?"

"For what?"

"The Arch-Mage, dead?"

The Khajit's heart dropped, "D-dead?" All other words fell upon deaf ears as she rushes past Tolfdir and pushes through the crowd, finding Tolfdir's words to be true. There, in the middle of the crowd of students, lay Savos's body, broken and limp-as was her own heart at the moment. She dropped to her knees, not caring that the students watched as she picked up the broken body of her closest friend, her teacher-her lover. "Savos, why?" The Khajit murmurs, her body trembling violently, hot tears spilling from her eyes. "This can't be happening, this isn't real, this has to be a dream."

"It's not, Xahley," Tolfdir sighs, kneeling down beside the broken-hearted Khajit. "I know you two were close-I know this hurts you,"

"More than you know it," She murmurs, claws digging into the slightly torns robes of the lifeless Dunmer.

"But you mustn't dwell on it," Tolfdir states, "There's nothing anyone can do now," He carefully takes the body from the Khajit, but she kept a frim grip of one lifeless hand, refusing to let go, refusing to move one-refusing to believe any of it. "Trouble is brewing down in Winterhold, go and help," The Khajit's grip remained strong, it seemed nearly unbreakable. "He'd want you to protect the town,"

She finally glances up at the elder with tear glazed eyes then down at the face of her dead lover before finally letting go and climbing to her feet. She's still as Tolfdir carries the body away then she pulls out the circlet that Savos had given her as a gift when she first became his student, it improved her magic and she always wore it during their training-it was the only thing she had of him now. She pulls off her assassin's cowl, tossing it aside before slipping on the circlet then glances at her hand as it glows red orange, tears coming to her eyes.

"I won't fail you, Savos," She murmurs before taking off, "Not ever again,"

After taking care of the trouble in Winterhold, Xahley sadly retreats to the Hall of Elements, painfully trudging to Mirabella waiting inside for her.

"Well? Is Winterhold safe?" Mirabella asks; the Khajit simply nods. "Good, wish I could say the same..."

The words seemed to fade to silence as the Khajit's thoughts faded to the past, quietly mourning the loss no one could understand-the loss that would forever remain secret with her. The promise that was made to her high on the roofs of this College was now shattered because of one corrupt elf, the life she cared so much about torn from her very arms, leaving only a deep pain in her heart-this would not go unpunished.

"Are you listening, Khajit?" Xahley blinks from her thoughts and glances up at Mirabella, possibly a hint of anger in her eyes as the other Mage seemed taken back by her glance. "You need to get the Staff of Magnus, it might just help us stop Ancano."

Xahley sighs, glancing over her shoulder at the barrier swirling around the corrupt elf-the one that would soon be dead when she got her hands on the staff. "Then I'm off to Labyrinthian," She murmurs,

"What? Are you...are you sure the staff is there?" Mirabella gasps, "That can't be a coincidence,"

"What do you mean?" The Khajit asks,

"The Arch-Mage," The Khajit winced at the mentioning of the title-the one that previous belonged to her lover. "He...he gave me something just a little while ago. He told me it was from Labyrinthian, and that I would know what to do with it when the time came. I think...I think he meant this for you, then." The Khajit hurtfully glances at the female, curiousity gleaming dully under the hurt-had Savos known what was going to happen? "I'm not sure why, but there was something very personal about it for him." Mirabella hands over what looked to be a giant ring-like a knocker for an olden door somewhere in Skyrim-definately belonged to a ruin by the age and rustic look of it. "Also, I think you should have this amulet." The said amulet: a silver necklace with a sapphire gem-she recognized the amulet, it was Savos's special amulet. "It belonged to Savos, but I think it would do you the most good now." The Khajit carefully took the amulet, taking off the Grandular amulet she'd trekked for months earlier to scrap the pieces together and earn such a glorious prize and slips on Savo's amulet, tightly grabbing the pendant. "Take it, and get out of here. Bring back that staff before Ancano brings the whole College down around us."

Xahley nods and takes off, hurrying out of the College and through the town of Winterhold, she wasn't going to waste more time than she needed to. Not for the sake of the College-but for revenge for Savos's undeserved fate.

The journey through Labyrinthian was as painful as the moment back at the College, having ghostly visions of a young Savos with a troop of College students through the ruin. Each vision weighed her heart down more and more, making her grow weaker each time she heard his voice. She barely has the spirit to fight by the time she reaches Morokei-a Dragon Priest that was the only thing between her and the staff- the key to achieving her vengence. Her spirits only raised when she went to grab at her chest from a wound from earlier, finding Savos's amulet instead and clenching tight to it. With new and high spirits, she charges into battle, killing off the two enthralled mages and taking down Morokei with great ease. She grabs the staff and rushes back outside, but upon stepping outside is when everything truly set in for the Khajit.

She'd been through so much in the nearly year that she'd been at the College, learning her spells, preforming her tasks for the other Mages, but it never felt important until Savos stepped into her life. Teaching her new spells, improving on her basic ones, and then the relationship the two shared for a little over a year that was now shattered by his demise-it all came crashing down the minute she stepped out of that ruins, her hopes crushed as was the body of her former lover-the moment that would forever haunt her. Her knees cave in and she crumbles, her cries echoing through the snowy ruins of the Labyrinthian as it all finally hit her-Savos was gone, none of this was worth it, all this time she spent running around in hopes of controlling The Eye, of saving the College and being able to rest easy with her one and only-it wasn't worth it without Savos in her life. She crumbles onto the ground, the staff rolling away from her as she seemed to completely break down for it all, she couldn't bear to move forward in a life like this, she wanted to die there and then, to join her beloved-to not have to suffer this lonliness anymore.

"S-Savos," She whimpers, "I'm sorry,"

"You have nothing to be sorry about,"

The Khajit's eyes snap open and she slowly looks up, finding the ghostly form of her lover standing before her, visible against the dark night sky.

"S-Savos?" She gasps, not believing what she was truly seeing.

"Of course," Savos sighs, the ghostly elf kneeling beside the fallen Khajit. "You can't give up now sweetheart, you've come so far."

"For what?" The Khajit whimpers, "I went through all this trouble, only to continue life without you? Is it really worth it?" The Khajit begins to cry again as a ghostly hand wipes traces of tears off her furry cheeks,

"Xahley, nothing could prevent the inevitable, you would have seen me pass on eventually." Savos says, trying to comfort the crumbling Khajit.

"But not like this," Xahley cries, "Not the way you were taken from me-stolen from me by an elf too greedy for everyone's good. I knew you'd pass on, but I wanted you to pass peacefully-not ripped from your own body."

"It can't be helped now, Xahley, we both know that." Savos sighs, gently storking the Khajit's head as her cries fell to silent sobs. "You only thing you can do now is stop Ancano,"

"And then what?!" Xahley snaps, "Move on with my "amazing life" as the Dragonborn?! To forget about the College?! Forget about you?!" She sobs and wipes her tears away, "No! I refuse to do it, I'd rather die here than do that!"

"You'll never forget, Xahley, I know you better." Savos reassures the Khajit, "You'll make a fine Dragonborn, an amazing warrior, and an excellent mage Everything else you do will only make you stronger, but you'll never forget about the College, or me-I know that."

"But how can I fight without a reason to fight?" Xahley asks, "Before, I just did it for the thrill, but you gave it purpose, you gave me something to fight through Ice Trolls and Ice Wraiths and Bandits for each time I came through these mountains. You gave me reason to swing my blade, and now it's gone."

"No, it's not," Savos sighs, "You can still fight for me-I won't be leaving the College anytime soon, nor this ruin in fact-I'll still be here waiting for you."

"But it's not the same," Khajit whimpers, about ready to break down again.

"I know it's not," Savos sadly admits, "But it's still something-remember what I said to you the day we kissed, the day you tried to jump from the roof of the College?"

The Khajit sadly nods, "You worked hard to help me live, and you wouldn't watch me take my own life."

"That still applies, even after my own demise," Savos states, "I'll be watching over you now as far as I can go with you, I don't want to see what we've worked so hard crumble now-I wanna see you die honorably, whether it be in battle or on your deathbed years from now, you won't die by your own hand as long as I watch over you." The Khajit looks up at her ghostly lover, tearful ice blues staring through vacant, transparent red eyes. "Promise me you won't do such a thing, please Xahley."

The Khajit sadly smiles before embracing the ghostly Dunmer and is then pulled to her own feet by the apparition. "I promise, Savos...my love,"

The two meet eyes once more as the sun begins to peek through the mountains, "Now go, defeat Ancano and save the College-I'll be waiting for you when you've succeeded." With that, the ex-Arch-Mage kisses the Khajit before vanishing in the sunlight, leaving the Khajit alone.

Xahley, after stitching her broken heart back together and wiping frozen tears away, retrieves the staff and takes off for the College-she wouldn't break their promise this time.

Now the Khajit lays in the Arch-Mage's bed-her bed, alone. She had defeated Ancano with the staff and The Eye was safely taken elsewhere-where? She didn't much care, it was gone and that was all that mattered to her. Despite the trouble still blowing over, she was now the new Arch-Mage, but was a mere shadow of her predecesor, her lover. She grabs Savo's amulet that hung around her neck tightly, still refusing to let him go.

"If only we had one more night," Xahley murmurs,

As she sadly nuzzles into the bed, shutting her eyes into a sorrowful sleep, the faint prescence of a hand on her cheek causes her to unknowingly smile in her sleep, as well as a peck on her temple.

"Sweet dreams, my love,"


End file.
